doubt it.

you're it.

you're actually the thing i want to be.

sure, you could say i'm "jealous."

i might not agree.

you're just so perfect i can't believe it sometimes.

and you know it.

you know you're hott shit.

i just wish i were you.

everything would be easier and my life would be so perfect.

hahahahahhahahhaha DOUBT IT.

I wish you could see how dumb you are sometimes.

healing.

it's hard to move on
i can't
it was different
now...i don't know who i used to be
everything is leaving and fading away
stay. no...go
wait...
let me think.........
i can't get better
it feels too weird
i don't think it's supposed to be like this
images of before keep leaking into my thoughts
they won't go away
i feel like i turned my back something that could grow to be perfect
you told me you would never forget
do you still know what it is?
have you found it?
all my thoughts are clogged up and i can't untangle them
i'm trying so hard to make sense of everything
but i can't, this situation really is not working out
i can't do this anymore
it feels broken, like shattered glass
i'm comparing it to everything, but it just doen't make sense
where do we go from here?
i don't want to be second best, but i can't shake the feeling that it will stay like this forever.
i don't understand
i don't think this is right
i don't like it at all
my head is pounding with all these clashing thoughts
i'm sorry i'm like this, i really can not control it
everyone is lying and pretending and everything is so different now
the cloudy weather is driving my crazy
i need sun, i need sun, i need sun
i need sleep.

yeah?

you you you.

why is it always about you?

why is it always what you want?

you want candy....you get someone to get it for you.

you want sex....well there you go, you got it.

you want to party....you don't remember anything.

this is your life.

is this really what you want?

why?

so you get regret it in the morning?

you want to live your life in the shadows of everyone?

be like EVERYONE else?

you don't stand up for yourself.

it's like you don't care.

good.

if that's really what you want for yourself have fun.

you can sure go smoke your fucking cigar but get out of my face.

is it ever enough? i try and try and still, nothing. what is it worth? this much? not at all. well..maybe, maybe if i give it my all and really commit it will work? maybe it's just laziness taking over me. maybe i don't really know you. maybe it's not supposed to happen. maybe it's all just a hoax. i real so unreal lately, so fake. i can't figure it out. why is everything coming all at once? is this really what i want? what you want? is it best? can we be sure? can this be real?

Sweet Sixteen

is this how it feels?

the freedom, the carelessness?

is this what it all comes down to?

have we waited all this time for....this?

i really don't feel different.

i feel the same as a month ago....

why is there so high of a price put on our inocence?

nothing feels "right".

is it supposed to?

are things supposed to change drastically?

i have so many questions that can't be answered.

am i different than all the rest?

and so this is how it is?

image.

we beat ourselves up and put ourselves down, just because we're not as perfect as we think we need to be, but, if you think about it, why do we care so much? why is it so important to be "better" than everyone else? can't we just be equal? can't we share the spotlight? of course not...we'll just keep trying harder and harder until, eventually, there's no where else to go. You can only stay fake for so long. sooner or later your flaws will come out. wouldn't it just be easier to be yourself? and not care about what everyone else thinks?

:)

"I don’t think there’s a word I've ever heard

That captures the innocence of you

And I wouldn’t want one too

And no, I wouldn’t want one to

It’d be like smothering a star

Or covering a work of art

Driving so fast that the view falls apart

Like I do

Without you."

Why?

Who are you? You murmur something under your breath......good good.....now tell me the REAL you. I really don't even know you anymore. You're caught up in this sucky situation and I can't comprehend what you've become. What are you doing to yourself? I want to pull you away from it. But, you crave it. You want to rebel and be irresponsible. Why? Come back! Please. You're tearing me apart. Stop this. Who sent you an invitation to be "dumb"? Reject it. Use your brain. You're just hurting yourself and me. Wait. Have you always been like this? Did I ever know you? Are you just a big joke? I want to believe it's a lie. I want to believe it's a faze....but, is it? Can I trust you? Or should I walk away? You say all these things and I want to believe.....what exactly is the truth?

to: people who think you're better than everyone else
SHUT UP.

KYLE LARSEN

IS A DUMB KYKE
who deserves zero friends :)

I'm so terribly SICK OF BEING SAD.
Seriously, I just need to get over it and stop feeling sorry for myself.
You're not worth it, you never were. You can't do anymore damage. Please stop trying.
I want to rip my heart out so you can't have the pleasure of playing with it any longer.
Are you done? Please say yes. It's so pathetic that I even give you the time of day.
I can't help it. You're just so......i don't know. I wish I could fix you. HA!
Yeah, okay, impossible, right? I try to tell myself, but I want to believe you can be that person that i had before.
I have this problem of getting so attacted, even when i try my hardest not to.
Why do you insist on this?! UGHHHHHHHH.

The Reformer.

I'm so exhausted from this back and forth pull.
I've struggled through so much, to get to where I stand now.
Was it worth it? Are you worth it?
Is this big "secret" even worth having? Let alone keeping?
I feel like I've pushed so hard for this one thing, and instead of receiving it, I'm taunted and teased.
The thing I want most is dangling two inches from my face, but I can only get a taste.
It's not fair. You're such a tease. UGH get out of my head. No, don't.
My mind is spinning in circles. HELP :(

adorable.

I've started and quickly erased so many of these precious, yet worthless lines.
The truth is, I can't believe it's over.
I'm not complaining, I just simply cannot believe that I'm moving on and nothing is happening.
I feel like someone, or something, is going to pop out of nowhere and tell my to turn back, tell me I'm wrong.
Yet, it feels so right. Every single word that leave my lips is now accepted, instead of ignored.
I feel good about the path I'm going down. I don't know if it's right.
And I don't know if I'll be okay. But everyday is flying by, and everyday feels fresh.
I have my doubts, everyone does. Inside I know I'm weak, but I'm trying so desperately to avert.
I have such a strong urge to resist, I'm just trying to get away, to make my own life, to stop relying on people to fix everything for me.
Sure, everyone needs someone. But can we exist solely through the being of another human character?
It's so ironic how hard we tend to try to make an impression on the people that aren't even aware of our existance.
I'm so sick of making an idea out of something and having no one to notice.
I'm not convinced that it's worth my time.

aren't you cute?

It's "those" people.
The ones that make you laugh.
The ones that make you cry.
The ones that make you think.
The ones that drive you crazy.
Those are the ones that really do matter.
They're also the ones that don't get enough credit.
I'm sorry i don't thank you enough, you are amazing (:
You still make me laugh and cry and think and feel all those good (and not so good) emotions.
I wish I could tell you how much it means, but I can't, cause maybe i'm just too busy.
Or maybe I'm scared.
I love it when I start talking about people and end with talking about "you."
sdngaskdvn whatever.

It's Not That We're Scared

I want to say so many things, things that will make you happy. Things that aren't necessarily true, anything to take that ugly frown off your face. Help. I want to scream so loud. I feel trapped, since when do you run my life? Quit! Leave me alone, i'm so sick of the bipolar lines of lies that continually flow out of your mind. Say those things to someone else, I DON'T CARE. I gave up my life for you, I thought that maybe, just maybe, this time you would change. But guess what? You can't. You will never change. You're too good for anyone. You said things that made me smile so wide. You told me you wouldn't let me go, and you still did. I trusted you, I TRUSTED YOU. Don't make up excuses. Go tell it to someone who cares. Not me. No more, goodbye SEE YA! :)

Have you ever taken the time to really appreciate the life you've been given?
Are you grateful for the things you have?
I feel like things are taking up our lives, and once we have what we want, we just want more.
We're never satisfied. It's upsetting.
I have this friend, and they begged and begged for a long time for this "thing."
A material "thing."
And once they finally got this "thing" they wanted more..something better.
Sure, it's nice to long for something, but once we are rewarded with it, there will always be something else out there that we'll want eventually.
We're all hung up on material things, if we could just take time to appreciate the people in our lives that keep us going, instead of putting the focus on money and "things", we could all be a lot more happy.
People should be the base in our lives, but i feel like some people just DON'T CARE.
And when people let down other people, they turn to material things for comfort.
They think that maybe they'll feel better if they have that "thing."
Things break, fads fade, but if you build a relationship with someone based on care, thay can be there through anything.
It's much better to have someONE rather thatn someTHING.

Everything is gone.
It's all faded away..
Something that was once wonderful is now a big pile of nothingness.
I feel like I don't even know you anymore, and for that, I don't know myself.
What happened?
Why are all the walls crashing in on me?
We reached that "point" and then it all went downhill.
I wish it wasn't, but it's gone.
I feel lost within myself and I don't know how to escape.
I want, so desperately, just to break free of whatever this is and just go back.
But it's too late, I'm too far gone.
It's over.

Perfection?

black stilettos. fake eyelashes. plastic faces. plastic hair. drug addictions.

what is this? why does society make us think that we need to hurt ourselves to look good?

just because the girl sitting next to you just got a boob job doesn't mean she's any more beautiful than you.

it seems everyone has forgotten about inner beauty....

what happened to the smart girl?

she's dumbed herself down because she thinks guys like dumb girls.

what happened to morals?

it seems like no one really cares anymore....what happened?

Day of Love?

valentine's day was today....

it made me think, why is this the day we show our love for that special someone?

aren't we supposed to love them everyday?

why is this day any different?

are we supposed to love stronger or more thoroughly today?

i know i didn't feel more love....

maybe it's just me but i think it's a little pointless that we buy someone a material gift for a day like any other, just to prove that we love them.

and if you don't celebrate it they might think you don't love them...

whatever. it's a little dumb (:

Can I get a hand clap?

I look for any trace that's left of what it used to be,
I take a deep breath, hoping the air carries you with it,
But it's gone, the scent of summer left with the coming of a frosty, bitter winter.
I hate the feeling I get in winter.
I like snow.....But the cold leaves me angry and hollow.
I miss the summer so much, I sit here, waiting and waiting for it to return and smack me in the face with a warm, welcoming sense that there is absolutely nothing to worry about.
Winter can leave now, and go back to the southern hemisphere, I've really had enough.

Can it start in the ever after?

Is there a point?

Why do we date in high school?

Sure, we want someone to be there for us and we want to feel that sense of true emotion from another..

But isn't high school about having fun?

Aren't teenagers supposed to rebel?

Are our relationships going to be lost in a sea of morally unright doings and lies?

Are we setting ourselves up to get hurt?

Or is it real?

I know many people who started dating in high school and now are happily married, but would they have eventually met up after high school if they never started dating?

If we have only one soul mate, can't they wait until we're done being caught up in the drama of a teenagers life?

Or do we have to hold onto them now so that they don't float away?

Whaaaaat?

Perfection. We throw this word around as if it’s an actual possibility. Is perfection really even worth trying to reach? Why stride for a status that’s impossible? Sure, you may be ‘perfect’ to every person you pass on the street today. Will they still feel that way tomorrow? Maybe. Maybe not. Our world is changing every second. The trends are forever departing and will continue to turn; Weaving, in and out of style. Our society is so caught up in this ‘perfection’ that looks have begun to overrule smarts. Is that right?

Does it end in the night?

There's this thing, i can't figure out what it is, but i know that i want it. a lot.

I feel like it's out of my reach.

I feel like i could have it in a heartbeat, but something's holding me back..

Something tells me if i got what i wanted it would mess a lot of things up, and i'm not sure if i'm ready to give up my life all for something that might not last.

i feel lost, like i'm alone in my decisions.

I'm bored with my life, but nothing is wrong with it.

is it wrong to risk everything for excitement?

(: hey girl hey

do you have that one person that you can be yourself with?

the person that understands you unlike anyone?

the one you share absolutely everything with?

a best friend?

a soul mate?

someone who you look up to..the one who's NOT overrated?

I do.

Or...did.

We've drifted apart a lot, but i still feel really close to her.

I feel like she's the only one i can truely trust.

It's an amazing feeling to know that you have someone who's there for you whether you're hyper or crying, who's alway emotionally available for you.

i'm very grateful (:

Can you really trust anyone?
Ah.....maybe not.
Probably not.
I've come to the conclusion that everyone talks behind everyone's back.
Many people walk around with knives and swords sticking out of their backs.
Some don't bleed, some do.
I'm sick of GOSSIP.
seriously just shut up and mind your own business.

remember those days, cooking with grandma, when everything was simple and perfect in your eyes?

i miss it.

i miss my childhood.

i miss not having homework,

not having responsibility,

not worrying about anything.

remember when your mom was the greatest person who ever lived?

and your dad was the smartest?

i miss it,

they miss it,

i want to go back ):

silently, beginning to wonder.

is anything forever?
can anything last beyond death itself?
i find myself saying the word 'forever' a lot,
and i'm beginning to wonder what it all means...
when is the end of forever?
when you die do the promises you've made just fade away?
should i really be worried about this?
probably not.
asadfgjk;
i think to much.

?

I've been looking for a way to get myself out of this.
Pondering, wishing, just wondering if there will even come a time when none of it matters.
But, is that what I truely want?
Do I want everything I've worked so hard for to just go to waste?
Do i want everyone to quit caring?
I'm really not sure anymore.
I'm not sure if there would be a point to all of that.
To try so hard for it all to not even matter?
What do I want?
Maybe if everything just stayed the same, it would be alright.
Maybe.