"Friendship"

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What would we do without friendship?

Is it possible to live without it?

I don't think it is.

Think of all the lonely people who go insane or commit suicide...

I literally live for my friends!

I don't think I could get up everyday and go to school if I didn't have friends.

It would be like being a lone animal trying to survive in the wild.

Wtihout strong will to survive, they quickly die off.

I'm very greatful for my friends, without them I don't think I could live!

My Current Frustration: ITUNES!!!!!!!!!!

So I went to sync my Ipod for the first time in months today..
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaand over half of my itunes library has been erased.
I'm so angry!
I have no idea how it happened or how to get my music back other than buying some software thing!
ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhh :(

Lately I've been overwhelmed with reality.
It seems like for so long I've lived in my own little world where nothing has to make sense to anyone else because i didn't care.
But, now, everyone is questioning me and I feel like I'm being judged from every direction..
And yet, though I should, I really don't mind it.
I think it's refreshing and it really makes me think about what I'm doing instead of just being passive. :)

Blogging for the Thoughtless.

I look outside...

I see nothing that catches my eye.

Just the same view onto my yard as always.

There's leaves scattered everywhere, but that's nothing new.

All I hear is the crackling noises of a newly lit candle.

The only smell is my tea, brewing on the stove.

When will it become interesting?

When my interests become insync with my daily life?

I'm literally thoughtless.

Does life makes sense to you?

Or her?

The old man next door?

Does life make sense to him?

I'm not complaining about life itself,

I just can't seem to wrap my mind around the concept of it.

It's beyond the realm of my thoughts.

Love

is a BEAUTIFUL thing. Y

Enough is Enough!

I know this subject is way over-blogged about but, I am so tired of weaving my way through the hallways of my school to pass all the people who think it's cool to not shower and make out at school. Seriously, GET A ROOM. If all you have on your mind is sex, don't show it, we don't want to see it. Eww. It seems that everytime I turn around, there's another couple snogging each other. I mean I'm not against being intimate with your boyfriend or girlfriend, but don't bring it to school. Public affection is disgusting, ESPECIALLY at a place of education. Why would you even think of making out at school? Isn't that something that's supposed to be private? I'm not against hugging or holding hands butttttttt I don't need to see people slobbering all over each others faces...ok? Ok.

The other night I attended a seminar put on by Paths to Peace.

The topic? Forgiveness.

We watched a very interesting video.

The video talked about learning to forgive a person, but never forgetting the deed that needing forgiving.

After the movie, we had a group discussion.

Things got a bit heated and people were getting very into their own opinions.

Deep thought was spreading throughout the entire room..

Everyone had good points.

One lady talked about how there is ALWAYS room to forgive, no matter what the situation.

She also said that we do not necessarily have to forgive the situation, but if we forgive the person then everyone will feel better in the long run.

Another made the point that there is absolutely no point in holding anger towards someone.

Even if you hate a certain person, they don't feel that anger.

The only person it's hurting is yourself.

There was talk about how forgiving someone will just make that person feel like they can do it again...which can be true sometimes, but holding a grudge towards someone is not going to make anything better.

Also, some people were saying how forgiving someone is a form of weakness.

NOT AT ALL.

If someone forgives me for a wrong I've done upon them, I take it as a sincere gesture, not a form of weakness at all...

I look at forgiveness as only being positive,

I mean we ARE all human.

It's in our nature to make mistakes.

Quit Crying Your Eyes Out

Have you ever been so lost?

Nothing makes sense to me.

Where do I go from here?

When will I belong?

Will normality ever arrive?

I've felt so off lately, and I really cannot figure out what it is.

Why can't I think?

I feel like I lack so much sleep,

yet I get a full night's rest.

I don't understand where my thoughts have been.

They've been off wandering far away....

I can't grasp them.

Will I ever regain control?

Cultureeeee.

Last week in Spanish, we learned about Dia De Los Muertos, Day of the Dead.
It's a celebration, that can be compared to our Halloween, in some ways.
The families prepare private altars in their homes for the honoring of loved one who have died.
It's so weird to think about things that other cultures do...
Sometimes I feel that our basic American traditions are used everywhere..
But, when you think about it, how my family celebrates holidays only a small fraction of world's traditions.
The lady down the street probably even has different traditions than us..
I think it might be fun to experience other cultures.
To see things they do that differ from us...
It would be interesting.

In the shadows of someone in need..

Yesterday, I went to the cities to visit a family friend.

I was so tired of driving.

Finally, we came to the exit.

The lights turned red and everything around me halted to a stop.

A man approached our car with a cup and a sign.

He tapped on my window, and my mother told me to ignore him.

I wanted so bad to know his situation..

Why is he poor?

Was he abondoned?

Did he make his own bad decisions,

or did someone make bad decisions for him?

What's his story?

I've been thinking about it ever since...

Poverty is a huge problem in America.

When did it become okay for people to live in the streets?

That man's face will always haunt me...

We could've at least given him a few dollars,

we have some to spare...

and we didn't help someone who needs it more than us...

Why?

greed?

maybe.

Just another night...

Last night, I went to a friend's for Halloween.
It was fun...
Not memorable though.
No one was really energized,
and I felt a lot of tension among my friends..
I slept through most of the night,
I'm sure I didn't miss much though, ha.
.....
First thing we did was go in the hot tub.
Then we watched a scary movie, The Ruins.
I slept through it.
When I woke up, we played a game..
My team lost everytime, beacause we all suck at drawing : )
but it was still fun!
Then, we watched a movie that I had already seen, Teeth.
So, I slept through that too.
Exciting, huh?

the fiiiiiirst snow :)

this morning when i walked out of the church,

i was blown away by a strong gust of wind.

i looked to my feet, all i saw was white.

the land was covered with powder soft snow.

i love winter.

Being cold gives you a sense that you're still alive.

i love layering lots of warm clothes

and wrapping up in warm blankets

and cuddling with the ones we love

and drinking hot cocoa :)

the snow and ice gets us early outs and days off from school,

but it also puts our lives in danger.

either way, i love it :)

Halloween.

What is it?

Why do we celebrate it?

I never really thought about it..

The only thing I ever really cared about was candy.

But now I've found that there may actually be a meaning to the day.

I read that Halloween was, in ancient times, believed to be a day that the barrier between the living and the dead dissapears.

I've been thinking.....

There's no way that's at all possible...

right?

Homework.

The teachers really need to cut back on the homework,
I barely get any sleep at night,
and then they complain when we fall asleep in class...
so we stay awake all day,
go to sports,
come home,
TRY to do our homework,
but we can't....
Or at least, I can't.
I can't focus on my homework because I'm exhausted from the day's events.
But, I try to do it and end up not understanding it whatsoever.
I get about 3 hours of sleep, then the cycle starts all over again.
SERIOUSLY, students have lives...
We don't have time to be thinking about our studies the WHOLE DAY.
I just wish the teachers would cut us some slack.

Falllll.

I look outside, and all I see is leaves.
Leaves everywhere.
Leaves, leaves, leaves.
The leaves need to leave.
I guess I could rake them....but I would rather not.
I'm too lazy.
I wish winter would come.....or summer.
I hate spring.
I hate it a lot.
It's a big wet mess.
No thanks.
And I'm not too fond of fall at the moment....
Leaves are EVERYWHERE.
I had to close the window in my room because they were flying in our house!

revealing a celebration..

Last night, i went to my friend, kaila's, sweet sixteen party.
It was, truly, a good time.
I found myself in a jumble of laughter, hyperness, and even a slight sense of worry.
I was noticing absolutely every single detail of every little thing that was going on around me, and it was freaking me out.
I could feel the music, taking control of my body.
Every single person around me was giving off their own individual vibe.
There were a lot of feelings flowing through me.
At one point, I got so confused by the flashing lights, loud noises, and dirty grinding that I had to have a moment to take it all in.
I quickly made my way off the dance floor, grabbed some punch, and went and sat, alone.
I watched, as everyone kept dancing, and couldn't even think.
My thoughts were, simply, blank.
What was going on?
I knew I had to get out of there.
So, I left, with a friend, just to get away for a little while.
When I came back, everything felt like it was in slow motion.
The people around me seemed to disappear, one by one, slowly just fading away.
A lot of characters were being exposed to me, sides of my friends that I had never seen before.
Dance really shows a lot about a person.
The way a person expresses themselves through dance shows something about their inner-character that you might not be able to see by just talking to them.
Anyways, I had an awesome night, and it's something I will never forget :)

what is music?

it's a form of art...

but what does it mean?

who came up with it?

music is...

there's no perfect word you could plug into that sentence.

nothing can describe the feeling you get when sound flows through your soul..

you can only feel it yourself, you cannot have it be explained to you..

A painter paints pictures on canvas. But musicians paint their pictures on silence.

~Leopold Stokowski

"hello?"

I, personally, am so sick of cell phones.
They are a major waste of time and money.
All people do these days is sit around, waiting for calls or texts.
I am just as guilty as the next person, but even when we hang out with our friends, we constantly text other people, it's so annoying.
Cell phones do more harm than good.
They can cause carpal tunnel of the thumbs, arthritis, and even the sound waves can be harmful.
I wish I wasn't so dependant on my phone, but I think everyone gets attatched to theirs, it's a terrible addiction to have, and extremely hard to break.

all day, i was in a daze.
my thoughts kept blurring into a big mess.
all i could think was, why?
why do terrible things happen to great people?
why is our society so judgemental of personal style?
why is George w. Bush our president?
all logical questions....
but where is the answer?
is there an answer?
can every question have an answer, or do some people's questions just get lost as thoughts, never answered?

i want to argue, but there's nothing to say...

ever thought you weren't pretty enough? skinny enough? smart enough? PERFECT enough?...well, i've been having that feeling a lot lately. when i walk through the hallway of my school, i feel every single eye judging me. i'm just paranoid, right? maybe not. maybe we all judge each other and just never realize it. i feel eyes, staring straight through me, and i wonder, am i just as bad as them? do i do it too? i never actually thought about it. why is our society so caught up in looks and cliche movements of life that fade away within a matter of weeks? why can't we all just forget about what everyone thinks and let our guards down?

moderation of the best.

perfection.
we all know we can't have it.
but then why do we attempt to achieve it?
it's all nonsense to me, why someone would try to be perfect.
i'm content, actually quite happy, dealing with imperfections in my life.
they give me a challenge and keep me busy,
and also help me to become a better person.

just our hands, clasped so tight.

love. have you ever had someone's love crawl into every molecule of your body? make you shiver from head to toe? has that someone controlled your every thought? the experience helps us find our faults and free our emotions...but at the same time, when that love fades, a whole new set of emotions appear. jealousy, envy, hate...just a few. why do we let love die? if the feeling of love is so amazing, then why throw it all away? i think we just get sick of trying so hard. shouldn't love be easy? shouldn't it be someting that doesn't take thought? we take love for granted. and loose it. but, why?

as the leaves turn to gray...

we all do it. we cheat. but, why? what's the point? we lie because we have something to hide. we cheat because we're curious and greedy. we hurt others to make ourselves feel better about our own problems. does it really make us feel better in the long run? no, it builds up guilt. lies make trust disappear into thin air. whether it relate to schoolwork, games, boyfriends...cheating is something that we're all guilty of. but, why? why do we feel the need to cheat? i think it's because we want to see how much we can get away with. there's really no other point to it. sure, it can raise your grade, score, bank account, self esteem, whatever. but at what cost? you could work harder for better grades that are YOUR OWN, but some just don't have the drive or want to put the effort into their own achievements, they would rather accept other's. i think it's sad when people cheat on the ones they love, no one deserves that. NO ONE.

tanning beds; not a great idea.

So. I thought i was looking a little pale and i decided it was time for my weekly tanning session. So, i made an appointment, grabbed my tanning lotion, and was on my way to a nice fake tan. It had been a long day and I decided I would just take a nap and wake up in time to flip to my side. I fell asleep, and didn't wake up until my session was completely done. GREAT. now i'm burnt on my front and back and my sides are still super white. Also, I'm almost positive i burnt my caruncula lacrimalis (the inside corner of an eye). Tanning is not safe, the best way to go is in the sun unprotected for a small amount of time, then it's good to lather up with sunscreen. Don't get caught going "sun-burning" in a tanning bed.

school time!

School has finally begun! Oh my goodness, this last week has been a big mixture of emotions. I'm so sad that summer is gone, but at the same time excited to get back on track and start having some good education to fuel my brain! It seems like summer went by so fast. Anyways, this year is off to a good start! I have great teachers, which of course makes the class 1984375 times better..! And i got all the courses i wanted! This blog is actually an assignment for my awesome journalistic writing class! It's actually a very easy and extremely fun assignment. I mean, really? What other class to you get to vent to the world for a grade? Not many! Alright, well i think I'm going to work on some other homework. Peace out girl scout!